Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
