hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
