Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
