like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
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