Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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