Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
