Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Randomize
