the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
