Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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