You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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