Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
