I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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