you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
