That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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