I want to make a zoo with you.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
