Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
