I want to make a zoo with you.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
