did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
