Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
