I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize