Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize