Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize