i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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