I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
