you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
