I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
