I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
