i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize