I bet he comes in French.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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