I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
