Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
