I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
home. puking in laundry basket.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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