OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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