Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
