i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
