If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
