I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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