remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
