how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
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