I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
