Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
