But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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