I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I booty called her while she was in labor.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
