I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
he high fived his dick after we had sex
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
