I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
