I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Shitshow foam night was such a success
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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