You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
