thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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