If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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