Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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