thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
