I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
