Buhtt sex?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
