She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
