That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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