You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
