She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize