so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize