Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
