I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
