Whats the glycemic index on semen?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
