I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
