Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
