He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
